Why do they call it a home if it is here where everything goes wrong? Why do they call it a home if this is the place where I feel most alone? And we’re just waiting for wind to blow Five rats waiting for this house to explode There’s a picture and a statue of Mother Mary in the back garden What would she think if I laid down next to her?

You were in the kitchen with another beer And you were inside yourself with the seer You say he is the greatest of all things, but we disagree He is cruel, unusual and he is punishing And I am young and old in the same mind And when you hit the back of my head my ears rang three times We walked into the backyard shed There was a warm glowing light wrapped around your neck It was a sign from the ancestors of the old for us to do our very best But what do we when the sign that you made us swear to always obey Was the one single we saw you choose to betray every single day? And I am young and old at the same time I’m not the daughter that you always desired, but that’s alright My mind will fly and it will divide My soul will soar right into the sky You are the Devil’s own right-hand man in the daytime

Can you see the moon? Can you see the moon? It’s shining a light on me tonight Is it doing the same for you?

(The Went Away) Instrumental (Apology) Well, son of a bitch, that moon went away Flew over the mountains, over the forest and over my Grandfather’s grave Well, god damn, what else can we say To cure the constant loneliness of better days and make you feel less insane? And I heard a voice from the forest, it said: What would it take to see you one more day? What we would give to see you one more day I don’t know, I wish I knew I’m sorry, I’m sorry Are you sorry, too? Are you sorry, too? Put one foot in front of the other Put one foot in front of the other Walk until you can’t hear your mother If you hear the bottles run for cover If you hear the beating of your father It’ll make you run twice as farther Put one foot in front of the other Put one foot in front of the other

(Rabbit) Walking further into the woods I saw a bluebird With a rabbit underneath it looking strange and quite tired All the kids in class made fun of your crooked little teeth But how could you be the rabbit when I saw the bluebird from beneath? Carved into big oak trees the pictures of your mother’s body float And those scenes of your father’s hand that were wrapped all around your throat But you were so grounded to what you knew could make you die And to me I guess you’d rather say goodbye When you fly up to heaven tell me what’s up there and never come back I want you to live in a world without her and where you cannot be hurt anymore When you were young you were the king of everything you ever owned And all your sensibilities seemed to just string you right along But when the boundaries broke you just wanted bound back home Leaving me all longing in my loathly lust alone And the burning blasts and hate prevails and nothing ever lasts Sister has no feelings, mother cries and father forces laughs Babies bleed on carpets covered in their mother’s weakened wombs Waiting for the day that they are buried in their broken bones And the skyline sets ablaze into a fire for the world to see Lighting buildings, bodies and the bloodlines at the tops of trees Ashes all around the absolution of the holy sea Absolving sacred sins until we are finally free Walking further into the woods, the rabbit hopping by my side I feel hopelessness and dread and I don’t even know why The back of my neck is cold, I feel the growing end drawing near And I am carrying one half of my closest dear I’ve put one foot in front of the other for so long I’ve put one foot in front of the other for so long I’ve put my mouth in front of my eyes for so long I’ve put my tongue in front of my teeth for so long I’ve put my bones in front of my body for so long I’ve put my words in front of my mind for so long I’ve put my hands in front of my eyes for so long I’ve put myself in front of other for so long For so long, for so long, for so long (Bluebird) And I look back, and what do I see A beautiful bluebird singing just for me The storm is coming, it has no pity so hold on tight If you can’t find the strength to fight, close your eyes Until you find that magnificent morning light But don’t you even think about dying on me Don’t you die Don’t die Please, don’t die

I am tied to a terrible time where I cannot confide in my wife All the dreadful deeds I’ve done in my life The feeling of being submerged but unable to die And after it rains, I’ll come up for air I pray to God you will not be standing there You call me sick, you call me a child with a ludicrous brain always behind But you don’t stand in the road to look at yellow lines You stand sturdy to catch the bus at nine And after it rains, I’ll come up for air again Sometimes I hope you are standing there A big bird’s beak signifying the end

I can barely see, the trees they have no leaves The cold is closing me I can barely feel, nothing around seems real My clothes cannot conceal I can barely talk, I can barely walk Just continue on and be as much as you can be Oh, but I know in a year or so It will all come apart

There’s a windmill waving at the edge of town It sways in the wind while the sun goes down It soundly sits while the moonlight wakes As the wooden wings begin to break Complacent, no shame And you were just the same I can see your fall from my window pane Such a shame, an awful waste Your power gave us hope and strength But now your force begins to fade Dead daughter, dead veins But I was just the same

Faith shook us to the core like marionettes on strings We were unassuming but fearful of what the next day would bring We danced all night long and it felt like pure sin As your rough unkempt hair scraped the bruises under my chin Your salty tears poured out onto the cracked-up floor And I don’t even know what it is you cry for anymore But I held you as close as one could ever hold someone We were the only two lost demons under God’s bright sun I saw you wave your hands in an unfamiliar way As I felt the familiarity come back in a familiar pain I shuffled my feet and bent my knees like you taught We were two great showmen but I guess I always threw the timing off But one day I will be gone, I will not be around And I hope you will take me and bury me in the ground But I learned ten years and a couple minutes ago That you can’t trust someone as far as you can throw But tomorrow I’ll be sober and I’ll rewind all the clocks And we will come back again and begin this waltz

I can see a darkness And I can see a light I know where the door goes And I hope that you don’t mind I know where the road goes And I know where it divides I know where the road leads And I hope that you don’t mind But I see that you’re standing there And you’re giving me the eye And I was always one to avoid confrontation So I guess I’ll just stay inside

You blow bitter bubbles while the sky turns gray While the Orange Smoothies in the back-garden turn to pure decay I guess I never liked those flowers anyway But I am happy, I am oh so happy Nothing can bring me down anymore In flashes of colors all black and white The blue angel jets boast of the coast and take their flight Like your fist of fury that blasts with might Like your hair that floats like tattered sails in the moonlight And you’re packing your bags for the fifteenth time While the bruise on my temple bends into a smile And I am happy, I am oh so happy You can’t take me down anymore Horse and chariot are cast into the sea

When your day is done on Buell Road Where does the wind blow now? Does it fly through every room in this place Or does it carry you away? All the weeks and years that were spent Blood transfusions and pharmacists Church hymns, coupons and Christmases Are all finally put to rest When your night comes on Buell Road No longer will you be alone I’ll find you the finest rye, fried bologna and onions And then we’ll celebrate together

(Minnesota) Seeds came in the mail today from Holland And the language on the package was wonderful and strange All sorts of flowers that grow up from the earth In goodly colors, gloriously arranged I circled the house and I scattered them around Let the water sink down into the soil Stared a long time at the residue Blood, milk, and oil God, the humidity is something Our shirts are soaked clean through The house is throbbing and the heat keeps coming And I keep looking at you And then you're singing in Dutch to me And I recognize the song It seems so old and so fragile I haven't heard it in so long We may throw the windows open later But we are not as far west as we suppose we are Hot wind coming off the water The sky gone crazy with stars While we stay here, we imagine we're alive We see shadows on the walls There's something waiting for us in the hot, wet air Sweat, water, and alcohol Just the old blood Rising up through the wooden floor again Just the old love Asking for more again (Song for Dennis Brown) On the day that Dennis Brown's lung collapsed Spring rain was misting down on Kingston And down at the harbor, local cops were intercepting an inbound shipment And for a while there it was chaos As they handcuffed and then roughed up some sailors On the day my lung collapses It's not going to be much different On the day that Dennis Brown's habits caught up with him School children sang in choirs And out behind the Chinese restaurants guys were jumping into dumpsters And the stench was overbearing But they were past the point of caring On the day my habits catch up with me I'll be down among the jumpers And when the birds come home in spring We will fill them full of buckshot And jets of contaminated blood Will cloud the rivers and the lakes It took all the coke in town To bring down Dennis Brown On the day my lung collapses We'll see just how much it takes

I’d like to apologize, but what good would that do? And I’d like to say sorry, but I think that moment has already come and gone And Clemmings, I took you for granted I betrayed you and your boyfriend And I hurt your very best friend And oh Sally, I took pictures of you And showed them to people that I didn’t even know It was so incredibly destroyed in the end I wish we were still friends But the fact that we are not is a consequence that I must accept And oh Clara, I was supposed to treat you like a brother But I abused the bond that was between us I did things that made everything completely uncomfortable between us And now the bond is broken I would understand if you never trusted me again in our lives But I hope sometime down the line we can be in the same room with each other And feel vulnerable and comfortable and respectful of each other But if not, that is just something I have to learn to be ok with And all of the things I’ve said to people that don’t even remember me The pain keeps carrying I am a human fireball cataclysming through everyone I’ve ever come into contact with And oh Kathrin, I loved you with everything in me But I was not a good person I manipulated you and I used you I took advantage of your kindness I was one fucked up human being And I took every wrong doing of mine And I blamed it on all of my mental problems That was the worst thing I could’ve done And now I will take responsibility for my actions But I am afraid that it is too late for that now All I can do is try to be something I should’ve been a long time ago To you and everyone that I’ve hurt in my life I should’ve been happy for you But I wasn’t and I let all of my anger get inside my head I hope you find someone who loves you very much Who doesn’t cheat on you and blame you for all of their problems And I hope whoever you love loves you too

Blue, red, colors of everything I wish I could see more than just green Orderlies to new France Sending love from across the sea Putrid petals fall and float all softly from between their knees Killing love, killing time, killing pure monogamy Where will we go when they finally reach our bodies? Orange, fire white, colors of devilry I wish I couldn’t see everything Dead bird corpse in the front grass Woodcutters stuck alive in traps Fresh apples from the garden Between the Tigris and Euphrates Fruit falling from hollow trees, rivers slithering to the seas What will we do when the core enters our bodies? Black, nothing but the color black For eternity You will never come back after your sorcery So make up for your trickery, your sodomy and sinful deeds And let go of your mangled little body

Innumerable pictures of faux happiness lining the northern wall And you are in the back garden wondering where it all went wrong And I think I know you, and you think you know me too But in an hour or so we will rejoin and inevitably split into two You always wondered why my reaction was so weak I would guess it’s because I never knew when you were going to speak Code violations in the infrastructure, firecrackers left out in the boiling heat Just let the arrow go let the pin hit the floor release the pressure Let it all explode Collapse

Shadows on my wall They creep and crawl in burning white They dream of waterfalls Catching small bright streams of light. And life can be so weird A bucket full of fear But it's alright I'm on an isle And I've still got time to fly away Shadows in my dreams They're painting scenes of time with you I'm hoping all these things And the strength it brings will see me through And life can be so weird A bucket full of tears But it's alright I'm on an isle And I've still got time to fly away

Feeling your claws dig into my shoulders Moving through the storm and I don’t feel a thing Curious how hitting marks and faded scars Can make memories ring But my body is a callous waste The nerves are dead and they can’t be replaced But that’s good news for both of us You need a stone and I need to think less I’m your twin flesh soul container Take what you can get

Glen Park is where we would’ve gone if you stayed But you didn’t, moon The drive way is where we would’ve slept if you stayed But you didn’t, moon The waterfall is where we would’ve washed away if you stayed But you didn’t, moon Lucy get out of that hole Fire, fire, fire Nothing left to say The bark is peeling off of trees around me So I guess I’ll be off on my way What a day for beautiful betrayal and dismay

My girl's got arms growing Where her legs should be And she's got a pig’s head sewn on Where her head used to be And she can only live in formaldehyde She can only live in formaldehyde Oh, I love her so Does she love me? I don’t know

The heart is closer to the brain Where all that’s left to feel is rain One day we will form into one name And we will sink into a hole filled with flames And the rain that pours around all day Will never soak through to our burning grace The heart is closer to the brain And the pain we feel will never end for us again

Oh, into this home The wind it comes and goes It pulls you into a hole where the hate just grows and grows Oh, the stench that builds it burns the light that forms it hurts and I want you to learn I don’t want you to die And the pain that forms inside Kills the pleasure in your mind And when we sail tonight The moon will be so divine Oh, you have been so cold In this life you hold so delicately And when we wail our whines Will be heard from the tops of trees The stench of rotting teeth will pull you farther Than you will know And the pain that forms inside To infinity it will come And you will fly and fly and fly until you die A martyr’s goodbye

Daniel Johnston is dead We lay face down You point north, I point south We shift our faces around There are no more trees left on the ground You run to the mountains I wish you’d come home I plant a seed, it plants me A house in my heart alone Where all our sins will atone You run even further into the sky My voice behind screaming: “I hope I die; I hope we both die!” And then the light I tried to find Oh, how it blinds

When I see you there with broken legs and broken arms I’ll glue some wings around your heart And you’ll fly so far away from this home From this place, reshaping every day Metamorphosing in the worst of ways And it is wrong So, sing your song, your holy harmony Your notes stretched out just for me And fly so far that you forget What made your flying even begin And nothing will be wrong anymore